The waves crashed against the pier, but Anna didn’t notice because her mind was consumed with a letter. Not just any letter, but one that brought back memories she’d spent her whole life trying to escape.

Opening the seal of the envelope meant to unveil all of the unwanted memories. She read the return address aloud and began to weep. Oh, God, Please help me, she said to herself as she took a deep breath and stared out into the incessant waters. She began to open the envelope, but her mind drifted back to that painful place.

She was just eight years old and remembered being so excited because her uncle came to live with them. He had lost his job and was forced to sell his house and move in with his brother. In turn he would watch his niece and two nephews while their parents worked in the evenings. Everything was fine at first, but about a month later everything changed.

After her younger brothers went to bed her uncle would come in her room to read bed time stories. Then he’d crawl into the bed with her and play “games”. She wasn’t sure why he said they were called games because she felt weird inside and was scared to death every time they played. Her uncle said that if she told her parents she would get hurt and big monsters would come and live in her room at night. The games continued until she was 13 years old.

One night her mother came home from work early and caught the uncle in the act of the abuse. She remembered running to hide in the closet while her mother screamed and threatened to call the police, but her uncle grabbed the phone. Then he dragged her mother to the kitchen, forced her onto a chair, tied her to it with an old rope, and threatened to kill her if she didn’t stay quiet.

Anna could feel her heart pounding out of her chest as she tiptoed out of the closet, made her way into the living room, and out of the front door. She hurried to the neighbor’s house and pounded on the door. The woman, a long time family friend, answered the door.

“What is wrong, baby? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“I..it’s mom...my uncle is gonna kill her. He has her tied up to a chair in the kitchen and the knife…i..it was really big. Can you help me? Please!”

“Oh my stars! We had better call for help right away. Go sit on the couch. You’re safe here.”

The next thing she remembered was that there were police officers everywhere. She wasn’t allowed to go home and an officer had brought her younger brothers over to where she was. Anna held them as they sat on the couch for hours watching reruns of The Andy Griffith Show. Finally, around 2:00am one of the police officers came back. He spoke in tones so soft that Anna almost couldn’t make out what he said.

“Hey there sweetie, are you awake?”

“Yes, sir, I couldn’t get sleep.”

“I am sorry, but I have some terrible news for you.” The officer began to choke up. ”It was too late by the time we got there...I am really sorry.”

“S..she can’t be dead. You’re lying, Please tell me you’re lying!” She said, as she jumped from the couch and ran out the door.

She remembered waking up the following day in her own bed thinking that it was all just a terrible dream. As she walked into the kitchen she knew it wasn’t. Her father and grandmother were sitting at the table sobbing. When they noticed her they both motioned for her to sit down.

“Honey, after everything that has happened we feel it is best that you and your brothers go live with your grandmother for awhile.”

“But, dad, I want to stay with you. Please?”

“It’s not possible right now. I need some time to sort things out. I promise we’ll be together again as soon as possible.”

“Whatever…” Anna said as she stormed to her room to gather her few belongings.

That was the last time she saw her father. Anna lived with her grandmother until she left for college. She couldn’t help but wonder if he blamed her for her mother’s death.

As she began to cry a tap on her shoulder brought her back to the present. Startled, she turned around to see who it was. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Daddy?”

“Hey, I know I haven’t been around. I just wanted to say I am sorry…sorry for everything. If I could go back and change everything I would. I really don’t have an excuse…”

“…Its okay, daddy, I forgive you. I mean that. I got a letter from the Penitentiary today.”

“I got one too and I was hoping we could open it together.”

“Thanks, I started to open the envelope, but I just couldn’t.”

They talked for awhile and caught up with each other’s lives; then they decided to open one of the letters and took turns reading it.

Dear Mr. Johnson,

This letter is to inform you of the judge’s decision regarding your brother Paul B. Johnson who was sentenced to life for the first degree murder of Annette L. Johnson and rape in the first degree of Anna M. Johnson.

He has applied for parole. We’ve carefully looked over everything and came to the decision that parole will not be granted at this time, although, he is able to reapply in two years. We will notify you of any changes.

Sincerely,

The Nebraska State Penitentiary

Anna and her father hugged and cried for a long time. She knew things would never be the same as they were when she was a kid; she didn’t expect them to be. She was just glad to have her father back and relieved that there was still some justice in the world.

8-17-05